Corbies
A cool new form to try: the sijo. I admit that discovering poetic forms through Wikipedia seems like a dubious prospect, but it just seemed so cool that I had to make an attempt. It would be simplistic to call them “Korean haiku”, but they’re similar: three lines of (relatively) specific length, similar themes, and the notion of the “turn” near the end. But apparently sijo have more language play than the standard image- and emotion-based haiku. So I took a partially-mythological image of crows, mixed in a teaspoon of Decadent poetry, added a pinch of nuclear post-apocalyptic caution, stirred and baked at 450 for a pair of sijo. Best served with a side of remembering that I’m an ignorant whitey who’s never tried these before, and marmalade.
Corbies
This temple, with ribbed vaults and spherical altars, has fallen,
decays slowly. We come and consume our fill, ignoring
the wild roses, resurrecting themselves from that cryptlike heart.
We carrion-eaters once stole ten suns, whose light charred us black.
Phoenix-blooded, we survived, as we have now. But they’ve done it now,
broke stars open, died by their light, served themselves to our feast.
poeticgrin said,
June 22, 2009 at 4:36 pm
“Carrion” will be forever linked to a vocabulary list in my ninth-grade English class. It makes me smile because it’s one of those words I coded into my brain simply to pass a test. Damned if the word didn’t stick with me despite my original pledge to forget its meaning after the exam and to use that brain space to store more important facts about individuals who inspired me biologically.
I’m intrigued by this form and applaud your willingness to tackle it. What you’ve written is elegant and truly poetry.
I’m about to spend several glorious days on the beach, journal in hand. Perhaps I can convince the sijo to speak through me? Or maybe I’ll just tan.
“Phoenix-blooded” = excellent word choice!
K. Lawson Gilbert said,
June 22, 2009 at 9:42 pm
This definitely has an ancient feel to it – yet, a futuristic vision. It is certainly fresh and innovative. The first stanza, especially, seems so metaphoric in its descriptions. This is dazzling and fearless, like your other poems posted.
mmmm – sijo, you say. very good….
Rachel Westfall said,
June 22, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Oh, how I like this. Very much. Crows, and your poems, and this new form that I hadn’t seen before, though I lived in Korea for a while. I shall have to look it up and give it a whirl, sometime.
Joseph Harker said,
June 23, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Generally: Thank you everyone! More specifically…
Bryan: I fully support sijo-on-the-beach. You could write them in the sand, and then get tan while meditating on the impermanence of such things… Also, “carrion” is a perfectly perfect word, as words go, not just to describe rotting meat, but also rotten people. :D
K: Gracias! I hate to shoehorn different cultures into a mold, but East Asian forms have always struck me as the perfect balance between concrete imagery and meaning(fulness).
Rachel: You should! Especially if you lived in Korea, you probably have a better sense of Korean-ness that would make it sound better. Again, not that Wikipedia is the oracle of poetic education (poeducation?), but there’s some good examples in their sijo article.
Caroline @ Coastcard said,
June 23, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I’m always on the look-out for new forms. I must give this a go, but you have set a high standard to follow! Greetings from Swansea, hometown of Dylan Thomas.
Joseph Harker said,
June 23, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Dylan Thomas, Swansea, and Wales = <3 !
(although, it's actually been 10 years to the day that I was last there, alas…)