Two Cinquains

I balk at cinquains; they’re one of my least favorite forms, certainly on the bottom five with the hated, hated kyrielle and rondelet. I think of them as tanka a fraction too short, with line breaks in the wrong places; I prefer the “American sentence” to the cinquain. But, we must all stretch in some kind of new direction, so I decided to give it a whirl when the prompt went up at NaPoWriMo. Both of these were inspired by a quick jaunt over to the High Line at lunch. The first, I think, has a better Interesting Moment; the second was an attempt to get across both the positive and negative reinforcements to not leaving a place. Eh.

I also wanted to do the overheard-snippet-of-conversation prompt at Poets + Writers, but you know what? Walking around a city, it is nigh-impossible to hear any useful phrases. And if you get past the wind, the trucks, the horns, the sirens, chances are it’s in another language. And if not, people are usually pretty boring. So I’ll probably skip that prompt and do Barbara’s instead.

Two Cinquains

Match heads
and lemon peels
make drapes of different smoke
around our picnic where the house
once stood.

Scrap iron
banged in a bin,
or a lone crocus stripe:
which wall is greatest when it’s time
to go?

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3 thoughts on “Two Cinquains

  1. Sarah Haynes says:

    It’s really a shame how ineloquent and mundane most human conversation seems to be. Plenty of mine is, at that. But I say enough to have something marginally interesting some days.

    Thanks for all your work. Your version of NaPoWriMo is more inspirational and helpful, to be frank, than the official stuff. I hope next year they have more participant-interaction in place (which I find very helpful come NaNoWriMo).

  2. Dhyan says:

    funny i just heard a conversation and wanted to do something with it – it was in a different language but one i get, ne?

    it went something like: A) Hey! what’s up,
    B) how are you?
    A) fine what’s going on?
    B) good, how are you?
    A+B) (walking away).

    I still have troubles with forms – though i learn (slowly) to like the “work” of the craft I still find caging the muse is a bit hard.

    *you have an amazing output this month, don’t get overworked.

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