All right, I don’t know where the hell I went with this one. Somewhere ludicrous. The Oulipost prompt for today was to do a homoconsonantism, where all the vowels in a text are replaced by ones you choose, but the consonants left in the same order. Here’s what I plucked from the Voice for this:
“Wherever you go, the food is a smoker’s dream: hand-held corn shells, stuffed to the brim with tasty combinations like roast pork shoulder with spicy mango salsa, grilled chicken, chorizo, avocado, and green chimichurri, or grilled white cheese with beans, jalapeño, red peppers, and ripe fried plantains, which add a malty, sweet tinge.“
…which describes my favorite Venezuelan place in the city. And I managed to squeeze it and break its feet and cut off bits of it and wrangle it into some kind of bizarre Dantean vision about the River Acheron and demons making, I don’t know, demon clothes in it? Conscripting some random damned soul passing by? Did the best I could, and this was the result.
I fudged the rules a bit too (such as deleting “y” when it was used as a vowel, but keeping it when it was consonant, throwing in a “w” as part of a diphthong, changing a soft “g” to “j” at the end, etc.), but I’m pretty blitzed on this exercise. It’s almost midnight, and I’ll take what I can get.
Demon Tailors Explain Their Internship Program to Poet
Why– a river you Gothified as some kir,
as drama-hue, and held icy runes–
Hell’s staff dye (at the brim) wet hates,
to comb into new silk. Or stop
a rakish lad– “row this piece, manage
loose grey, I’ll do check-in.” A choir zouave–
cad and grinch!– may cheer, roar, growl,
“Lad, what I choose, we, the banes,
jewel up in red.” Pay appears– no drop of
rude polenta, no!– see, who ached,
do melt– sweet to enjoy.