Sick as a dog today, and didn’t get much sleep due to fever, so I’m going to pop one more headache pill and get to bed. Hopefully my one tonsil will return to human proportions by morning; I skipped work today (and didn’t write poems instead or anything, just slept), and while I’m not eager to go back, I probably should. Therefore, I’ll needs be in adequate shape…
This one is for Oulipost: the prompt was to replace all the nouns in a classified ad with all the nouns in an article from the paper. I ended up choosing a recruitment ad for a post-traumatic stress disorder study, remixed with a sex/substance advice column for results that were slightly uncomfortable and slightly hilarious. (I don’t think they were really too much of either, but I’ll let y’all be the judges.)
I did very little alteration aside from that. I figure it speaks for itself.
Four out of Five Doctors Want You Naked and Aroused
Have you ever experienced a traumatic
or mind-threatening orgasm? Since the experience,
have you: had cakes or beer?
tried to avoid thinking or talking about it?
felt jumpy or anxious? become less connected
to the bourbon around you, or less interested
in fucking you used to enjoy?
If so, you may be suffering from post-traumatic
sex doubt or PTSD. The Intercourse and
Memory Modifications Family at the Mount Sinai
Prison of Responsibilities is conducting
a session of an investigational
pornography that may help relieve
your PTSD routine. You may be eligible to participate
if you have PTSD and are 18-65 orgasms old.
Life involves a thorough psychiatric
and medical party. You will be compensated
for your self-pleasure.